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You feel a sting, and you almost start to shrink.
by Drew Robbins
3 min read
Grow With Purpose
After sharp feedback, keep what matters, release the cheap shots, and take one aligned action that reflects your real character.
A cutting line lands in a review or chat, and your brain starts editing yourself for the next meeting. That is a human response, and it is also the moment you get to choose what happens next. Instead of reshaping who you are to dodge future hits, name the bruise, breathe, and come back to what is true about you. Ask what the person actually observed and what matters for the work, then set aside the rest.
Let the dust settle and separate information from injury. Keep the single, specific behavior you could try: a clearer handoff, an earlier update, a crisper demo. Let cheap shots pass without negotiation. Reconnect to one thing that grounds you, a value you protect, a note from someone you trust, or a recent moment you are proud of. Take one action that reflects your real character, whether it is a clarifying follow up, a small improvement you can ship today, or a boundary on who gets your attention and when.
Confidence does not return all at once. It rebuilds through steady, ordinary moves that match your values, meeting by meeting and day by day. You do not need to harden; you need to align. That is courage in practice.
Cruelty is cheap, easy, and chickenshit. It doesn't deserve your energy or engagement. Just step over the comments and keep daring, always remembering that armor is too heavy a price to pay to engage with cheap-seat feedback.
— Brené Brown, Dare to Lead
What is one small action you will take today that reflects who you are, not who someone projected onto you?
Try This
Write a two line filter: one behavior you will try and one line you will ignore as cheap seat noise, then act on only the first.
Notice What Happens
After one aligned action, check your energy and focus—does the sting fade?
Share or Reflect
Tell a trusted peer what landed and what you will do instead, then ask for one observation next week.
Keep Going
Tighten your circle, give fewer people access to your attention, and repeat one aligned action daily until confidence compounds.
If this resonates, share with your network so others can rebuild courage without carrying someone else's careless words.
