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When we are not seen or heard, we feel small and unimportant
by Drew Robbins
3 min read
Be Present
Presence is a choice and a signal. When attention disappears, people feel ignored and unimportant. Learn how to protect dignity through honest communication.
Have you ever sat across from someone and thought, are you even listening to me. When attention disappears, people do not just feel ignored, they can feel unimportant or even stupid. I have been on both sides of that table. Sometimes my mind is pulled away by personal matters, a heated conversation, or stress I have not processed yet. The intent is not to diminish anyone, yet the impact is real. Ideas go quiet. Trust shrinks. Psychological safety drops across the room.
Presence is a choice and a signal. If you notice your focus slipping, name it. Say you are distracted, apologize, and ask for a reset, even later the same day. That honesty protects the other person from wondering if they are not worth your time. It keeps dignity in the conversation and restores the conditions for real thinking together. A short pause today is better than a lingering doubt that lasts all week.
Being present is rarely dramatic. Most of the time, it is built in small, ordinary moments. It is in simple conversations, in noticing what is behind someone's words, or by just pausing long enough to respond with care.
— When No One's Keeping Score
When has someone's lack of presence made you feel small, and what is one phrase you will use to protect presence in your next conversation?
Try This
If you cannot focus, say, 'I want to give this my full attention. Can we pause and pick this up at 2 pm.'
Notice What Happens
Watch shoulders drop, tone soften, and better ideas surface when safety returns.
Share or Reflect
Share a time you felt unimportant in a conversation and one move that would have changed it.
Keep Going
Start meetings with devices down and one quick check-in to set a norm of full attention.
If this resonates, share with your network to help others build safety through presence.
