When plans unravel, your worth doesn’t.

I read my friend Steven's (Say Bin Neo) book last week which he wrote during the seven days after losing his job last year. He captured the ache and the agency in one line: "Detours happen in life. They are part and parcel of it. We can be negative about them, or we can adapt and respond to the situation we’re in. We always have a choice." That’s the knot so many of us carry when plans unravel. A detour can look like failure. It can feel like we let ourselves down, or the people who depend on us. When something ends abruptly, it’s tempting to believe the effort before it has been erased.

But in 7-Day Breakup, Steven doesn’t rush to optimism or force a lesson. Over seven difficult days, he stays present. He leans into his relationships. He allows fear, exhaustion, and uncertainty to surface without letting them define him. What becomes clear is that the job was only one container for meaning. The relationships he built, the growth he experienced, the courage to be vulnerable, and the integrity with which he carried himself. Those all remain.

Tom Herzog, in a post about Lindsey Vonn’s crash at the Winter Olympics, offers this leadership lesson: "The meaning of an effort is not erased by how it ends." A career can end. A season can end. A role can disappear overnight. But the discipline, resilience, trust, and character forged along the way do not vanish with the title. They continue shaping us long after the scoreboard changes.

That’s why Steven’s story lands. The retrenchment was real, and the seven days were not easy. Yet by the end, something deeper had settled: meaning outlasts the job. The detour didn’t negate the years of work that came before it. It revealed what was always more durable—his family, his friendships, his professional community, and the growth still ahead. Endings close chapters. They do not erase substance.

When the plan dissolves, find your solid ground in the present. Name what ended. Let the feelings register. Then return your attention to what remains and what matters today. Presence won’t fix everything, but it keeps you from abandoning yourself in the moment you need yourself most.

What would still be true about you if a detour showed up this week?

If this resonates, share with your network so someone on a detour remembers what remains.

📘 Check out my book When No One’s Keeping Score, available in your local Amazon marketplace.