With all the hoopla of JJ, I was reminded by Kevin Schuler the other day that I have my own history with a wardrobe malfunction. Here's the story...
I attended a Nazarene church while in highschool that was part of a region that included the Mount Vernon Nazerene College which often was the site of our regional events. On an annual basis, we held a teen talent contest in the state of Ohio that eventually ended in a championship held at the college. The talents could be anywhere from singing a song to reading a poem or displaying a piece of artwork.
There were several rounds to the competition, starting at our local church, moving onto an area competition, then onto districts and eventually the regional championship at the college. The local church competition was a requirement, but nobody was eliminated during this round. Eliminations did occur at area and districts before making it to the regional.
The year that I entered, they opened up for the first time a rap category. This was a pretty big deal, considering that the essentials of a good rap performance such as dancing were all but forbidden in the church. So, my buddy and I took this opportunity to push the envelope and enter the rap category.
We did the essential local church competition with out much excitement and the area competition was rather routine. Things got interesting with the district competition. We decided at the district competition to throw a dance into our routine. We were actually fairly decent dancers (well, if you like early nineties, mc hammer, running man type of dancing). Anyway, it was a very boring day for the whole competition. It seemed like every other performer was singing or playing a version of “People Need the Lord”. If you've heard this song before, imagine hearing it over and over and over. Very boring.
When it was our turn, we started our song which began with organ music that slowly played “Mine eyes have seen the glory of the comming of the Lord...etc”. Everyone sighed and settled in for another sleeper. Well, suddenly our rythym kicked in and we started dancing and rapping and the whole place was stunned. So it was very cheesy, but we were the only thing close to exciting for the day.
Anyway, on to the malfunction. We made it past districts and onto regionals. For regionals, there was a lot of competition in our category. We decided to kick it up a notch by adding some extras to our wardrobe. We went out to the store and got all the necessary gear. I had a big red clock that hung around my neck. My buddy bought some thick fake-gold chains and a peace sign. Of course, we both had to get some overalls.
Now, if you recall during that time, the popular thing to do was to wear your overalls with only one strap holding them up. Remember? Anyway, that's what we did. And of course, we had our dance routine all set for the day. I was to do the first verse while he dance, then I danced while he did the second verse and then we had a third verse that we did together.
The song started. I did my verse. My buddy started his verse and I began this dance that had me turning and basically doing a version of the running man (yeh!) in different directions. Right before my verse, I was supposed to be facing background; I'd jump up, turn around in the air, land facing the audience and start rapping the third verse.
Well, my jump was a little too much for that one strap on my overalls. That strap came undone while I was in the air. When I landed, gravity did its thing and my overalls fell to the ground. What was left, I'm afraid was me in a t-shirt and a pair of boxers (well, and don't forget the big red clock) in front of 1000 or so people from around the churches in Ohio.
What did I do? I finished the song! That's right, I picked them overalls up, clipped them back together and went on with the show. The show must go on.